Knowing versus Understanding

They aren't the same thing. As a while male, I know racism is wrong and I know constraining a woman's right to choose is wrong. But I cannot truly understand all the implications of these. Two examples from this week:

1. Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon talks briefly about a bill being considered in the Ohio legislature that would require women to get the permission of the sperm donor before getting an abortion. I know immediately this is a horrifying law and also that these types of laws generally do not get passed (except in South Dakota). But in writing about the practicalities, she points out that women will just get a male friend to vouch for being the father and:

Every woman reading this is taking a quick mental inventory of what man they could trust to do this without gloating about his power over you.

Yes. She's right and I didn't think of that right away. That's the difference between knowing and understanding. I know the proposed law is wrong, but I don't live with the knowledge that the people around me might democratically vote to take away my basic freedoms at any time, so I don't have this type of reflexive thinking. Althought I'd like to think I'd be the kind of person my female friends would think of as absolutely reliable in this spot. I wonder if they do.

2. Ta-Nehisi Coates has been mulling over the Gates' arrest in his own house in Cambridge. And also the death of Shem Walker in NYC. Two black men who were disrespectful to cops, but did nothing obviously wrong. One arrested, the other shot dead. I know being a cop is hard, they are almost always meaning well and I know it's best to always be respectful.

But I do not know what it's like to be a responsible, successful black person (man in particular, I suspect) and have to live one's whole life knowing this could be around the corner for you. One day you are part of the priviledged class -- you're successful, social responsible and doing it right. And the next day you're persecuted for your race. I feel like Dave Chappelle and Wanda Sykes have both done comedy on this theme. I find their routines funny and I feel like I "know" what they're talking about. But when TNC says he doesn't feel good with a cop like that holstering a gun around his kids, I realize I don't really understand.


Not understanding doesn't mean I can't be part of the conversation, nor that my opinion is totally invalid. Or even that I can't be right in an argument over policy even with somebody who really does understand. But as a priviledged white male, I have to remember that I don't really feel it the same way they do and that does matter sometimes.